Love / [luhv]noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
Watched for the millionth time – Fiddler on the Roof. The first time with my little girl. We enjoyed the movie entirely as always. Is that very ‘uncool’ to admit?
One part of the movie in particular that never fails to move me. The musical conversation between Tevye and his wife Golde. Tevye asks his wife “Do you love me?”……Golde replies ”Maybe its indigestion!!!”
No seriously I found her actual reply quite touching, the depth in the statement “For 25years I’ve cooked for him, washed his clothes and his bed has been mine. If that is not love then what is”. Good question do you think?
Now I personally do not qualify for the 25years bit of the song, more on the slightly above a decade mark. I don’t qualify for the washed his clothes part either…unless chucking in the machine counts? Also I know for a fact that my man would certainly have preferred it if I hadn’t cooked on several occasions. True love then?
Often I am asked if we are a romantic couple. I honestly haven’t a clue truthfully.
I conducted an extensive research (well I asked three of my girlfriends) and I have come to the conclusion based on this extensive survey that most women feel that their man could be more romantic / sensitive / listen more often/ he’s not in touch with his feelings etc etc.
Now I ask you what would qualify to be the ideal? A man who remembers all your occasions, brings you flowers often, is not afraid to show his emotions, not afraid to wear pink, listens and actually hears what you say?? Someone who plans elaborate dates, someone who compliments you often, someone who treats you like a rare flower all your life? Without doubt any or all of the above would be wonderful. I would just love to be indulged in some epic champagne and caviar (ok maybe cheese and crackers would hit the spot better with me) style courtship. Having said that….would it suffice? Is this really required? Would it suffocate or flourish with time?
Most people (please refer to my previously conducted extensive research) seem to think so it is. Apparently I am told that one must work at keeping the fire alight in a marriage. One must dedicate ‘me time’ or is it ‘us time’ I lose track…
Can I add another side to this utopian outlook….. How about a man who although does seem to find it difficult to remember your anniversary, does remember and cook you your favourite food without any occasion? How about a man who truly upholds his marital vow of ‘in sickness and in health’ or how about a man who celebrates your achievements and actively encourages you to grow. How about a man who may find it difficult to wax eloquent poetic lines of passion but in his silence lie’s your strength at all times. Even those times when you particularly wish no one were looking.
I have been blessed to know and meet such men in my life. I have learnt from them the meaning of love in its varying forms. They came in different roles but each touching my heart permanently ….
So I am not entirely convinced on the benefits of a bunch of roses vs cooking you a fish dinner. I am not entirely convinced that love needs really to be manifested in hallmark approved ways.
I welcome your views and pearls of wisdom….but until then…. I have a great some delicious food and an equally appealing chef on the menu………………
So until later….bon appetite!