THE BIG ****-OH!

“Whoever said age is just a number….is stupid. Age is clearly a word!”

A milestone birthday draws closer. Should I be excited, should I be scared, should I be sad or shall I just air brush the image and deny the actual age?

I decided to google for the answers….

Take a good look at your life, revaluate it and ensure it is headed in the right direction I read. What if I don’t know or don’t want to know and am quite happy to go with the flow….where life takes me I am happy to go with it.

Address pre-menopausal symptoms another web site advised me…..wait what? Every month those few days when I use superhuman control to hold back my urge to bite a chunk of my husband’s head… are they going to get stronger? I don’t know how much medication that’s gonna need…..Baby if you are reading this know that I actually love you….

People get naughty at ****ty they say (you thought I would give it away didn’t you….na –ah)…what happens to people like me who were already pretty …ummm….unwise (for want of another word) already…do I have an opposite reaction? Shall I suddenly turn sedate and sensible or do I just get more challenging and inane?

You know you are growing older when you start referring to “in my day” or “when I was your age” etc apparently. Hmmm have to watch out for that one. Use it plenty with my kid, but note to self, deny the compulsion to use elsewhere.

My musical tastes will change too it seems.  But I always was an old soul in terms of music. Although I love a good Eminem or Rihanna my personal favourites always were the soulful western Country music….somewhere deep inside me is a Betty Mae line dancing magnificently.

Is this the age when things officially start going south? If so then honey someone inform my body ‘coz that started happening unfortunately before scheduled.

Watch out that you don’t try to over compensate and start dressing younger than your age I was ‘web advised’. As it stands given the fashion trends these days I find it difficult to find clothes that fit me in any age group. What is with the skinny fit??? I mean are people honestly comfortable in a low waist skinny fit?

Address your empty nest syndrome. I have one kid…..does this make my nest half full or half empty, how am I supposed to look at it?

Now I am even more confused. Does this mean that inside the outer young body was always hidden a middle aged woman and now the two have just caught up with each other?

When I was “younger” I had metabolism…..something that completely eludes my system now thereby converting every breath I take into un-meltable (yes I’m going with that word) fats. I had a future to look forward to and many many plans in my head. Plans I was going to materialise, grand things which included fame and money that were going to happen exclusively for me.

Today as I stand on the cusp of my middle age, I may not have realised all those dreams (some of them involved running into Brad Pitt and an ensuing whirlwind romance…sigh). I have however inherited a wealth in terms of family, friends, good memories and thankfully have so far been blessed with decent health.

There are many pluses however to this new age I realise. Some examples, I can pay my bills, I have learnt to let go to some extent, I am not ashamed to admit ignorance if required, I have the courage to opt for comfort over fashion, I can swear in front of my Mother, I can be an example to my kid, I am bold enough to step out without make up, I have learnt to enjoy wine rather than seek to feel the buzz, I am not embarrassed to eat healthy portions in public, I now only have “the thinking woman’s crush” and just do not understand the hype around the types of Harry Styles.

So maybe given the bigger picture, turning 40 (ah….there I slipped) may not be all that bad after all. Life can continue and I can probably still materialize some of those dreams (I mean Brad Pitt isn’t getting any younger either is he now…). I look forward to this new phase in my life and can only hope that the coming years are as fulfilling and blessed as those passed.

I can celebrate things falling apart and celebrate in the wisdom that I have earned every one of those creases.