Murphy & I

Have a deep-seated relationship. Murphy has been at my side since for as long as I can remember.

As a Child

The inherent curiosity to touch something shiny and most probably fragile, a sixth sense impressing upon my young mind the need for caution in this activity or was that just my Mums voice in the background? Anyway … Murphy would very kindly ensure that the said item would magically jump out of my hands or slip through the cracks in my tiny fingers and break into impossibly tiny pieces.

Pulling a tall tale from ones hat? Covered all angles, thought the story through and made it as convincing as possible? Murphy will make that one tiny hole in the story gapingly large enough to swallow you and your story into it.

Trying to master the tricky task of guiding food from plate to mouth, especially when in company or when wearing ones Sunday best? Murphy made flying food syndrome an actual thing with me for many years. Infact I am still afflicted with this condition.

As a Teenager

Ever felt the need to impress that one special someone? Your first teenage crush? Have no fear Murphy ensured that whenever I opened my mouth…..although in my head I was saying something very clever and witty, the actual words usually sounded somewhere in the range of “uhhh to gnnn”

Skipped class for a mid-morning movie date (don’t pretend you haven’t done it…..). What are the odds that Mum’s best friend is out on a shopping spree and spots you batting your eyelids at Mr Unsuitable?

Sneaking a peek at your straight A neighbour’s answers at a test and then successfully copying down the wrong answer sequence…. Murphy was one happy s-o-b that day.

Trying to master the tricky task of guiding food from plate to mouth, especially when in company or when wearing ones Sunday best? Murphy = flying food syndrome.

As an Adult

Turning up for a job interview, nervous? Murphy darling will spice things up… everything from burnt shirts, traffic delays, train derailments, nuclear war etc etc….

Bought myself a new pair of shoes. You know the ones…that you save up for forever and then indulge in. Those perfect lust worthy pair that look divine but are as comfortable as walking on hot coals. Well other than the fact that those shoes are probably the reason why I today have vertigo, Murphy would ensure that whenever I attempted a sexy strut on the said shoes….the left and the right legs would magically fail to coordinate. This resulted naturally in Olympian standard falls with preferably each uncoordinated leg going in opposite directions.

Trying to master the tricky task of guiding food from plate to mouth, especially when in company or when wearing ones Sunday best or when at a high level corporate event? Murphy = flying food or spinach in the teeth syndrome.

And so my saga with Murphy continues. As much as I may wish that I had never crossed paths with Murphy, I wonder what would have my life been if I didn’t have this friend by my side. Bland boring and uneventful.

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