“The Secret of Change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the New” – Socrates

Metathesiophobia – A Morbid fear of change.

Fear of change is one of the biggest characteristics in a person and also one of the biggest challenges presented to a person.

What makes us fear change so much?

In reality, fear of change is one of the main reasons that hold us back, stopping us from taking that much required step towards something new.

Fear of change convinces us that the change is bad for you and convinces people to resist the change with all their might.

The high levels of anxiety created by this fear of change can be brought about by false rumours, unnecessary gossip, not knowing what to expect and sometimes sadly purely by malicious vested outside influences. All these can be crippling and could well completely deter us from taking that one essential step towards accepting something new, something which perhaps may well in the long term prove to be a positive change for us.

Not knowing what to expect and the fear that stems from it, is natural, but quite often this fear comes from a sheer lack of knowledge or lack of information.

As humans we are naturally creatures of habit. Routine becomes automatic, becomes second nature and any occurrence that threatens the safety of this routine immediately makes one wary.

The apprehension caused by the prospect of change, something new, the possible loss of control even transitional or worse still the possibility of the change bringing about more work makes us dig our heels in and resist change just for the sake of it.

This is exactly why many people do not like sudden surprises even if they are meant to be pleasant ones. We resent the messengers of change, we suspect their motives, we invest ourselves mentally and physically to finding ways and methods to hold off the change permanently. To retain what is familiar, to retain the existing for fear of the unknown becomes of paramount importance to us.

This is not to say that all change in always good. There are cases in which perhaps the change may not have always been for the best. However what is the parameter by which we decide what is best in life? Is there a tangible quantity or state of things to which we can assign the term “this is the best”. I’m not sure there is.

I question our ability to accept change or to adapt to new situations of late purely because of recent events globally. Unexpected electoral results, unexpected Governmental moves so on and so forth have truly brought out the inner beast in all of us. In some the beast has heartily accepted the new path shown and is willing to tread it trustingly. In some the best accepts the new set of circumstances warily, in some grudgingly while in some the best has reared its ugly second head and is intent upon creating a bubble of discord, distrust and a general climate of unbridled fear among all around them.  Preying upon the latent fears of the innocent igniting them with flames of malice, creating discord with their words, with their negative soothsaying. Majority of these double headed beasts are steaming ahead in their righteous beliefs with little or no view of anything beyond their own myopic blinkered visions of what they want to see. Or rather what they want to hear.

I am angered with the juvenile displays of disrespect shown by such fractions, thinly veiled as humour. I am angered by those wolves in sheep’s clothing who claim to care but their words sadly give them away. I am angered that while the changes that are being brought about certainly come with their own fair share of uncertainties and concerns, we lack the faith, patience or open-mindedness to allow some time for the results to show themselves. Our natural biases prejudiced our good judgement.

At a time when ideally we should be reaching out as communities as humans to each other helping one and other traverse the trying times we instead devote our energies into bringing one and another down.

There are no guarantees of the future, few years down the line we may well look back upon today and wish we had not spent quite so much time resisting rather than accepting. While in life some changes may well be within your control to accept or decline, with some changes there is no way around it. The only way is through it.

So surely the journey can only seem easier if we decide to travel as one in harmony. Surely the need for an individual to prove themselves right cannot be more important than the proposed greater good of many.



What will people think…

I thought I would begin this blog with  the opening line that my family and I but then on second thoughts, I think (that’s a lot of thoughts) I can risk widening that circle to say quite a few Indians I know belong to an exclusive approach of life called the whatwillpeoplethinkology form of living.  

I mean seriously give it a thought…..

Invited for an event you don’t really want to participate in… must attend just to keep up appearances else what would the host and the other guests think?

Having a party/ family occasion… intend to invite over just a small crowd of ten but forced to stretch and have a crowd of twenty instead? Well ofcourse if you don’t invite those ten extra satellite family and friends then…..what would people think?

Hate the sight of a certain so-n-so from your acquaintances? Well God forbid you just tell them so. Keep up the façade, grin and bear it please.

Feeling emotional but in the company of relative strangers…..choke on your tears. Please stiff upper lip and all… disgusting displays of snotty noses and teary eyes…. what would people think of such an emotional display? Actually no sorry the jury is still out on this one…….I know quite a few people who have no qualms whatsoever in a good ol’ over the top in your face emotion fest at every given opportunity.

Did you know that wikihow actually maps out a five point plan on how not to care about what people will think! Intriguing stuff! Absolutely beyond my limited capabilities at this point.

Little do they know that if you do manage to graduate from the whatwillpeoplethink class you get immediate access into the school of guilt should you so wish.

Yeah you know what I’m talking about. I can nearly feel you nod your head and think “oh yes that’s where I am”!

Guilt over any range of topics from the last extra mouthful of dessert to your parenting skills. Guilt over did I tip the waiter enough to, did I speak too harshly, should I have cooked something else, should I have called first…….

I mean if you are reading this and not getting any of what I write but thinking God what weird paranoia is this… my friend you are definitely not suited to enter the school of guilt and have obviously not even qualified to live the life style of whatwillpeoplethink.

With such folks I can only commiserate and say really don’t worry wearethinkingofyou.